U.S. talk show N kinds of jokes about Barack Obama and George W. Bush-first
Posted by myps | Filed under Others
“Obama announced today we are finally, it’s official, getting out of Iraq. Because the way the economy is going, we’re going to need the troops here, for, you know, riot control.” –Bill Maher (09.2.27)
“Obama said he hopes the terrorists don’t follow us home, but if they do, and they want to bring down a building, the CitiCorp Center is at Lexington and 53rd.” –Bill Maher (09.2.27)
“George W. Bush is doing pretty well for a retiree. Our former president will hit the lecture circuit next month for a reported $150,000 per speech. Actually, it’s $150,000 for the speech, and an extra 25 grand if you want to throw shoes at him. 150,000 seems like a lot to pay to hear someone who can’t speak give a speech.” –Jimmy Kimmel (09.2.25)
“Obama said that we can overcome this crisis if we’re all willing to work hard and make sacrifices. In other words, we’re screwed, because those are two things we’re not good at around here.” –Jimmy Kimmel (09.2.25)
“President Obama gave his first State of the Union address to a joint session of Congress tonight. Obama focused on the three most critical things he wants Americans to understand: first, that the economy is in a lot of trouble; second, that the road to recovery won’t be easy; and third, that it’s all President Bush’s fault.” –Jimmy Kimmel (09.2.24)
“some of our nations largest banks have been described this week as ‘dead men walking.’ The New York Times says they are insolvent, and here’s the thing. Nobody will say the names of the banks, because you say the names, their stock will tank even worse. But here’s a hint: one of them rhymes with ’s**tty bank,’ and the other rhymes with ’skank of America.’” –Bill Maher (09.2.20)
“And at his trial this week, the Iraqi journalist, remember the one who threw his shoes at President Bush, remember that guy? Well, he said he rehearsed the attack for two years, rehearsed it for two years, even videotaped himself doing it. Well, how embarrassing is that? Guy practiced for two years and he still missed?” –Jay Leno (09.2.20)
“Airports all around the country now are switching from metal detectors to those high-tech scanning machines that show a naked image of your body. And this is raising a lot of privacy concerns, especially among women. The good news? Airport security guys now are paying attention 100%.” –Jay Leno (09.2.19)
“There’s a new study that says that in America, rich people are ruder than poor people. This is shocking because I didn’t know America had any rich people left.” –Craig Ferguson (09.2.19)
“Hey, the market went up three points today, so the stimulus package is working. Yeah! It’s a miracle!” –Jay Leno (09.2.18)
“In a new ranking of U.S. presidents by 65 historians, President Bush came in fifth from the bottom. And here’s the bad part — the margin of error was five.” –Jay Leno (09.2.18)
If there is anyone who is interested in hot issues happening everyday in the world, who is curious about those prominent political figures’ lives, who is yearn for leaning more about the word, here is your place. Our blog focuses on those well-known political issues and figures of all countries. It covers everything you want to learn, say, those political affairs, something behind those issues as well as the private life of those famous people.
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